Occupy the human race.

So, one of you idiots somehow got the idea to attempt to use that grey matter of yours and speak up for what you believe in. This same said idiot then somehow managed to influence a vast minority (and yes, I mean minority) of other idiots across the globe; one thing lead to another, and as such “Occupy Wall Street” was born. This later evolved to ""Occupy" whatever place you bum around in"

You gave me such a fleeting glimmer of hope, my children. Finally you had taken the initiative to do something other than tweet exaggerated memoirs of your pathetically mundane lives!

 No longer would I have to endure Paris Hilton tweeting:  "No, no, I didn't go to England; I went to London." and Mary J Blige's "Why is that people always try to understand estimate my intelligents?! They should never do that!"

You claimed to be, and I quote, “fighting back against the corrosive power of major banks and multinational corporations over the democratic process, and the role of Wall Street in creating an economic collapse that has caused the greatest recession in generations.”

My oh my, somebody’s been reading the dictionary haven’t they. Now this has happened (pretty much) before in 1929, but those who remembered it either jumped out of buildings then or are too senile to join you in your movement now.

feels like it was yesterday.

This is the effect you are after "Occupy wall st" Protesters? is it not? 

 For a moment I was in awe, could it really be? Had you somehow worked out how to use your…brain? Obviously this caused for a closer inspection, so I made a trip to Liberty Square in Manhattan’s Financial District for a closer look.

And this is what I was confronted with:

Oh for Bala's sake...

 AND THIS!!!

Hurry up and die of one of your many possible diseases so I can show you what real enslavement is like you idiotic pig.  

Firstly, let’s take a look at you. You look like a bunch of sewer rats who very cunningly managed to steal your clothes off a homeless man. I’m surprised you all didn’t simply drop dead from your stench. How do you expect to be taken seriously when it looks like you’d struggle to recite the first three letters of the alphabet?

And you?! I didn't even create you on purpose, are you the resultant offspring of a snail and an emo?

 You believe you are being strong by not conforming and going against the norm. In actual fact all you are doing is hindering your cause before it has even truly started. For a true revolution to take place you must firstly gain the support of the people. You are not the people. You are the minority. The people do not want to follow a bunch of degenerate rats.

Secondly, HALF OF YOU DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE PROTESTING AGAINST.

Yes because buses are made out of small animals with no manufacturing process and they run on love.

Although, the irony is probably wasted on you protesters. 

The best explanation the majority of you could form was something along the lines of “we’re against rich people because they make us poor and shit” Really? THEY make you poor? It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with you lack of education or unwillingness to, Bala forbid, work? 

I should’ve trusted my instincts. It was all a cleverly (but not at clever as me) orchestrated hoax. Your cognitive functions have not improved at all.

the most flattering depiction of your thought capacities