The Fetish Epidemic part I

BALA does not approve of healthy men with fat chick fetishes

I have a plan. Of course since I am the smartest thing to ever live, my plan is ingenious.
This plan is orchestrated to enable superior genetic matches between breeding couples to advance my species.
 

Unlike period England when I initiated plague #355, obesity is not an indication of wealth and status.

Bala did not create genetially superior male specimens for them to engage in lewd fornication with girthly hindered members of the opposite sex.

Fat admiring man, bala says no

When an acceptable match occurs, I dispise seeing the male craving the attention or retina filling experience of bulging oestrogen sacks.
This makes these "women" believe they are superior to other better looking oestrogen sacks, and even believe they can look down on (if their many chins allow for it) them. THIS DISPLEASES BALA.

It becomes a terrible Bala un-approved cycle whereby these obesely adipose filled female tissue masses will not loose weight due to their false sense of self esteem, desirability and superiority. All thanks to the men who garishly lust over the many rolls and caverns of the afforementioned fatties.

Specimen A: Confident oestrogen filled sac on bike

This attention spawns more confidence in their vast being and in fact can lead to increace in fatty tissue. When Bala's wishes are denied and these things breed, assuming they can carry a foetus to term without digesting it internally, the result and subsequent lardy upbringing is that an inferior and poorer genetic spawn of a human being exists.

Specimen 2: resultant offspring of unaproved coupling

In turn this decreases the solidarity of the Bala master race, watering it down with fat calls and depleting the natural resources of the planet I have so kindly lent you pathetic swines.

Specimen 3: Bala created resources, stop fucking wasting them!

In addition, Bala would have superior males know that he would prefer (if you MUST enagage in coitus with a non approved female) you to fornicate with farm animals as there is a much lower probability of reproduction. 

Things Bala Doesn't Approve Of: Obesity

Things Bala does not approve of today.

Obese people

I give you life, I created you, using a specific chain of chemical reactions resulting in mostly water and idiocy.

Some of you treat your vessels of complete unfulfillment with some respect, Miranda Kerr being the ideal model of living (organic diet and activity). Some of you indulge from time to time, which is acceptable as long as your mc whatever meal is not more important to you, than your God (me)

What I intended.

Ruining my creations one giant burger at a time

But increasingly, more of you morons insist on treating this masterpiece of carbon based architecture, as a dumping ground for unused sugars.

Bala does not accept this.

Doctors and nurses insist on extending life, a practice which I deplore as I find myself short on afterlife slaves and workers. I may have to initiate another plague if you get too good at it.
 

However for you to continue your pointless existence you need to have faith in "medicine" and so I permit these medical practitioners. Their purpose is to assist in the breathing, working, participating of the useful humans and NOT to resurrect bloated fat balls of mumbling unhygienic carbohydrate who offer no advancement to the universe of Bala.

Now Bala is just. I do not criticize Beyonce or the lovely Kim Kardashian. I can even accept cute rounded curves like Bridget Jones or a convex but excellent cooking grandmother.
 

What is not tolerable is a human who is so girthly hindered they can not move save to move their hand; which no doubt contains some more sugar form, to their mouth. The mouth which has become little more than a slight puckering in a desert of flesh.
 

One of my loyal servants I believe her earth name is "Jenny Craig" is battling this epidemic.
 

Avoid the cull now!

I advise you, if you have a BMI that places you in the obese/morbidly obese category, or if you can't read this decree of betterment without breaking a sweat, see my Jenny and I may spare you.


Bala.



NEXT TIME: THE FETTISH EPIDEMIC

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