A Warning

Sometimes I don’t know why I bother. I try to give you the most obvious of signs and yet you fools blatantly continue to ignore them.

In a gallant effort to warn you of what is to come, should you continue your procreation with those who I have deemed unworthy, I showed myself to you through an ultrasound of a testicle tumour.

G. G. Roberts and N. J. Touma from Ontario's Queen's University discovered my image while scanning the inflamed testicles of a 45-year-old patient. They described my expression as that of a man faced with great pain.

Idiots, you sound so shocked, how often have I told you of the anguish I face in trying to create my master race. Again and again I have warned you that my wrath will not forever be appeased and again and again you fail to take note. Of course my expression is of pain, you worthless fools have done nothing to please me.




"An expression of great pain"

 

As if your ignorance was not insult enough, you took it one step further by suggesting that this could be a gesture from the Egyptian god of male virility Min.

How dare you confuse me with my nemesis of the predynastic times! If you had seen the battles we used to have over his feeding the Egyptians the aphrodisiac long-leaf lettuce, you would not make this mistake so easily. How I loathed that smirk of his as he watched their minds turn to lustful mush as the long-leaf lettuce secreted its milky substance. I spent a great number of centenaries trying to undo the damage that so called ‘God’ had done.




Even Min's large phallus couldn't save him from my wrath

 But enough reminiscing, the prophet who I chose to bring this message to you has had the testicle removed and survives, what cannot be removed is the message that I send to you.

Stop with your fetishes. Stop with your stupidity. Acknowledge me as your one true God, for the time of reckoning draws near.

Things Bala Doesn't Approve Of: Obesity

Things Bala does not approve of today.

Obese people

I give you life, I created you, using a specific chain of chemical reactions resulting in mostly water and idiocy.

Some of you treat your vessels of complete unfulfillment with some respect, Miranda Kerr being the ideal model of living (organic diet and activity). Some of you indulge from time to time, which is acceptable as long as your mc whatever meal is not more important to you, than your God (me)

What I intended.

Ruining my creations one giant burger at a time

But increasingly, more of you morons insist on treating this masterpiece of carbon based architecture, as a dumping ground for unused sugars.

Bala does not accept this.

Doctors and nurses insist on extending life, a practice which I deplore as I find myself short on afterlife slaves and workers. I may have to initiate another plague if you get too good at it.
 

However for you to continue your pointless existence you need to have faith in "medicine" and so I permit these medical practitioners. Their purpose is to assist in the breathing, working, participating of the useful humans and NOT to resurrect bloated fat balls of mumbling unhygienic carbohydrate who offer no advancement to the universe of Bala.

Now Bala is just. I do not criticize Beyonce or the lovely Kim Kardashian. I can even accept cute rounded curves like Bridget Jones or a convex but excellent cooking grandmother.
 

What is not tolerable is a human who is so girthly hindered they can not move save to move their hand; which no doubt contains some more sugar form, to their mouth. The mouth which has become little more than a slight puckering in a desert of flesh.
 

One of my loyal servants I believe her earth name is "Jenny Craig" is battling this epidemic.
 

Avoid the cull now!

I advise you, if you have a BMI that places you in the obese/morbidly obese category, or if you can't read this decree of betterment without breaking a sweat, see my Jenny and I may spare you.


Bala.



NEXT TIME: THE FETTISH EPIDEMIC

http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqosuxefyyg&feature=related