Bala's Menagerie

I'm going to be direct. I'm sick to Bala damn death of you killing off my other creations you jealous minions! Just because I gave the best gifts to animals other than yourselves, you feel the need to steal what you can from them, then remove them from the face of MY planet.

This must end. The reason it has been drawn to my attention is because one of my favourite creations, not well known by humans, is now endangered at best. Chlamyphorus truncatus, or, if you prefer to fit it into your own pre-existing knowledge sets, "The pink fairy armadillo"  came to me in one of my more inspired moment. 


I had made fairies but they were fragile and as stupid as Sarah Palin (they were intended to make me laugh)
I then created armadillos, originally they were going to be my first line of defense in case of traveling salesmen.  
Finally I had made cherry blossoms and other pink florally things. Because I could, and I like Pink. 


The latter would be quite difficult for most deities to achieve, because making you see a colour that isn't real is quite intricate work.
I liken it to teaching Australians to pronounce the name of their country correctly, explaining to America, that when I send aliens they will go to Egypt not NYC, or educating Indians about how society should work, and that the class system is in the top ten stupidest things humans have created. 


Now back to me and my armadillo. 
This is how pink is made. Although you probably won't understand, oh look 3 of you just died from the strain of it. 

I decided, in one of my continuous moment of higher being (while listening to the Sound of Music) to combine a few of my favourite things to produce: 

 pink armadillos with hard outer cases,

 sturdy and fluffy with small mouse like faces!

Pink Fairy Armadillo, 3.5-4.5 inches long, and what of it! 

And so it was born. Yet you see fit to kill it off? I don't think so. Punishment will ensue. I am in my cross-breeding lab, I've dallied in creation for some time, and am quite good at it. My more recent masterpieces include:

The Satanic Leaf Tailed Gecko, modelled after one of my wives. 

Uroplatus phantasticus. After my wife Phantastic . 

I let you discover the Dinospider , which has been around in one form or another for 300 million years before you noticed it, (Not the Fiat Dinospider which is an infant 50ish years old hahaha)

Ricinoides atewa

Not out of my lab

I finally decided for one of my latest inventions, to improve one of my existing artworks. I know you can't improve on perfection, but i thought I'd make it a bit more terrifying as you are all so scared of them. The almost as immortal as me, cockroach, new and improved: It now Jumps. 

I present from South Africa:

Saltoblattella montistabulari 

Be afraid, be very afraid. 

So, if you don't want me to merge House flies with piranhas, then support the Pink fairy armadillo and remove prejudices against my marvellous invention. You may wish to purchase a ,Pink Fairy Armadillo shirts. for example.